Order Only Private Message to Bill Weasley

[alt_charlie]

I think I've finally put my finger on why I've been so upset lately. And so quiet, because it's the kind of thing that never sounds right outside your own head.

I can't get over what Poppy did. For Dolohov. Healing one of them, with a potion I risked my life all of our lives the whole Order, really a lot of things to get her the ingredients for.

I understand why she did it. More than Mum some people in the Order might, really: I know that when you're in the middle of an emergency, you do what you need to do, and you deal with the consequences later. I've done it myself. But when we do it here, it's accepting the risk of injury in order to heal an injured dragon, things like that. Not using an unreplaceable resource to save the life of someone who's chosen to do horrible things. Someone who's trying to coax children into thinking those horrible things are right and just.

I've been reading some of the journals of the Jr Aux lately, to try to get a feel for who they are and who they could be in a few years: did you see what he said to Parkinson tonight? Ugh. I wish I could argue with him in public. I wish I could show them that not everyone falls for his smarmy rationalisations. I wish I could tear off that pleasant mask and show everyone the monster that lives underneath it. For all of them, really, but especially for him, because he makes it all sound so neat and logical and romantic and right, and really it's that he's warping the world around those kids until they might not be able to tell what right even is anymore.

I can't blame Poppy for saving him in the heat of the moment. But I'm upset that he was saved. If that makes any sense. (It probably doesn't.) And I don't want to say anything to her about it, because I know she's probably still in pieces about having done it and I don't want to make it worse for her.

Ugh.

Let's talk about something that doesn't have even a hint of awful in it. Might have to go hunting for a topic, but, yeah. I think I need something nice for a while. I carved a pawn tonight, out of pear wood. It's nowhere near as good as the ones in the set I traded Greg for, for Ron's Christmas gift -- it's lopsided and doesn't sit straight when you set it down -- but Greg says it's a good start, at least.

Chess? Your turn to start us off.

Comments

[alt_charlie]

Okay, yeah, you're right, that made me laugh. That kid's something else. She's going to be a handful and a half when she's a little more self-propelled, and Merlin help us all once she starts showing her magic!

As for the rest of it, yeah, that's the sort of thing I'm thinking about. And the way that -- well, look at so many of the kids at Hogwarts. There's a lot of them who're probably perfectly pleasant people, except they've been taught that this all is right. And you know how hard it is to change someone's mind rather than teach them in the first place. I mean --

I don't know what I mean, really. Do you really think it'll be possible to put things back the way they were once upon a time? Because I don't think I do. We're never going to be able to go back into hiding once this is all over. And I'm pretty sure they're going to hold one hell of a grudge against us, and I can't say I blame them, really.

Gah. Cheerful. Cheerful. I think a greenhouse is a grand idea. I'll write Mum later and see if she wants some help.

E6.

[alt_bill]

Yeah, Bea is adorable. I've quite lost my heart to her. As much as I have to her Mum

You're right: teaching a kid the right way from the first is so much easier than trying to do reeducation. Which is why I'm so glad we hit upon the scheme for Sanctuary for those Muggleborn kids. On a less happy note, closer to home, it's why I hold out a bit less hope for Percy than for Ginny.

No, we'll never be able to go back to the way we were before. But the Protectorate--or rather the old United Kingdom--HAS come back after going through dreadful times before. Although maybe we're not so aware of them because we wizards are so ignorant about Muggle history. There was that whole fratricidal madness where the elite of Britain did their level best to slaughter each other for close to a hundred years or so. They called it the War of the Roses. And then there was the FIRST Protectorate: the king was murdered, and a Lord Protector was set up. And a generation later, The Lord Protector was gone, his son couldn't keep his grasp on the reins, and the royal family was reinstated.

So. We CAN put ourselves back together as a nation. We've done it before. Yes, I'm sure there will be reprisals, and they may be desperately grim. But perhaps we can blunt them a bit if we're seen to be helpful in tearing down this whole rotten Protectorate edifice in the first place.

Nc3.