Private Message to Dree and Em

My father's dead.

(Merlin. That's the first time I've actually been able to say it. Write it. You know.)

I -- they're going to need me here for a while, everybody's hanging on by a hair and the only reason I'm not having a meltdown is because somebody's got to keep it together and if I'm remembering to feed people and smile and say thank you to everyone who's stopped in and make sure all the food that people are bringing gets put in the right place, it means I don't have to stop and actually think about it. But I

I'll never get to introduce you to him as my

I'm not going to ask, you'll just tell me it's an insult that I asked, but if there's any reason why I can't pop in for an hour or two tomorrow, let me know. I have to come back up anyway to get dress robes for the funeral and the rest of my things, since I'll be on family leave for the next two weeks or so. I don't know exactly when it'll be, since I'm sitting watch tomorrow night and I'm going to try to sleep a bit late, but everyone's sleep is so disturbed anyway that

We have a family clock, did I ever tell you? I came home early from St M's last night, I was the one who swept the house to make sure Mum didn't have to see his things sitting out in the living room, and it was a fucking good thing I did. His hand fell off the clock. It was just ... sitting there, on the floor, and I picked it up and put it in my pocket and

yeah.

Order Only Private Message to Bill

If you wake up before we get back -- I know I said I was going up to the reserve by myself to see Dree and Em but, well. There are rather a lot of people here today who don't really have a reason to be here, if you know what I mean. So I thought it would be better to invite Percy with me. (Especially since he's starting to look a little wild around the eyes.)

So if you're wondering where we are, that's where. (And don't worry about me. I'll ask him to pack some things up for me while I go sort something out with the office, and be able to slip away. For at least a few minutes.)

Merlin. This keeps getting more and more complicated.